I hope you guys have been enjoying my Real Talk series here on TameraMowry.com. I personally love getting a chance to talk directly about real life struggles and triumphs, inspiration and truths, and hearing your stories in return. Today’s topic is postpartum life, something that I’ve touched on before. The thing is, life after pregnancy is different in so many ways, and we all have unique experiences. But the digital world often makes it seem like what we go through is all the same, and honestly, that it’s a lot more glamorous than it sometimes is! I think we can all relate.
Throwback! My first time around…
As much as I hope to be an inspiration for all mommies on their journeys to getting that pre-pregnancy body back and knowing that you can achieve all your health and fitness goals, I also want to set a realistic example. The truth is that the length and pace of the journey is different for everyone. Nothing happens overnight. For some women, a major struggle post-pregnancy is dropping the weight. For others, there are mental struggles like depression (there are 3 million US cases of postpartum depression each year – and even more undiagnosed) and feelings of isolation or stress. Usually, there are both the mental and physical ups and downs to navigate.
And while it’s important to focus on keeping physically fit and healthy so that we can better meet the needs of our little ones, let’s face it – there are always going to be a million other things to focus on at the same time. Life can throw things at you that deserve more focus than arbitrary weight goals (don’t get me wrong – health is important, but a number on a scale? Not so much). Don’t be afraid to turn your focus on to something else, and even inward at times.
It took time to learn and accept that my journey is and will always be different from the next woman’s. Reading blogs, following those you don’t personally know on social media- these can all be points of inspiration, but they can also be points of comparison. It’s so important to know that what you see is only a carefully thought out version of the story. That’s why it’s become more and more important to me to be authentic – so that people get a genuine look at how I experience motherhood, my work, my home and LIFE! Life is beautiful as is, and if we’re too caught up in the physical parts of it, we can lose sight of the real focus – our loving relationships, our mental health and our happiness and fulfillment as mothers.
No matter what stage of pregnancy or motherhood you are at, I challenge you to give yourself a few words of encouragement each and every day!
What are your feelings on this postpartum journey? Do you have any words of encouragement for other readers?
Xx,
Tamera
Throwback! My first time around…
As much as I hope to be an inspiration for all mommies on their journeys to getting that pre-pregnancy body back and knowing that you can achieve all your health and fitness goals, I also want to set a realistic example. The truth is that the length and pace of the journey is different for everyone. Nothing happens overnight. For some women, a major struggle post-pregnancy is dropping the weight. For others, there are mental struggles like depression (there are 3 million US cases of postpartum depression each year – and even more undiagnosed) and feelings of isolation or stress. Usually, there are both the mental and physical ups and downs to navigate.
And while it’s important to focus on keeping physically fit and healthy so that we can better meet the needs of our little ones, let’s face it – there are always going to be a million other things to focus on at the same time. Life can throw things at you that deserve more focus than arbitrary weight goals (don’t get me wrong – health is important, but a number on a scale? Not so much). Don’t be afraid to turn your focus on to something else, and even inward at times.
It took time to learn and accept that my journey is and will always be different from the next woman’s. Reading blogs, following those you don’t personally know on social media- these can all be points of inspiration, but they can also be points of comparison. It’s so important to know that what you see is only a carefully thought out version of the story. That’s why it’s become more and more important to me to be authentic – so that people get a genuine look at how I experience motherhood, my work, my home and LIFE! Life is beautiful as is, and if we’re too caught up in the physical parts of it, we can lose sight of the real focus – our loving relationships, our mental health and our happiness and fulfillment as mothers.
No matter what stage of pregnancy or motherhood you are at, I challenge you to give yourself a few words of encouragement each and every day!
What are your feelings on this postpartum journey? Do you have any words of encouragement for other readers?
Xx,
Tamera 
23 Responses
Tamera,
I’ve been wanting to write to you for a while now. I wish I could say more than Thank You, but my thanks come with more than just 2 simple words. Thank you for being REAL, for being an inspiration and being human to the rest of the world. For opening your doors and allowing us to see and know the real you. Our daughters are only weeks apart and like you said I started following and comparing myself to other mommy’s on social media. What I learned in therapy (I was diagnosed with postpartum Anxiety and Depression… Not fun) We all live and have different lives and I get the whole “no excuses”, but no one lives in my shoes as I don’t live in theirs. There is no such thing as the perfect mom and wife but we could be our families perfect and that’s what matters. On one episode you brought me to tears when you spoke about not being at your goal weight. It hit home! Due to my anxiety and depression it kept me home, I couldn’t reach out for help because I was embarrassed, sad, mad and all sort of other emotions. You helped me realize that I don’t have to be what someone else expects of me. It doesn’t matter if I was small in the past or how much easier it was to lose the weight with my other kids. I’m now a happy size 12 after my third. Yes, I will workout when I can and yes, I will reach for my healthy snacks but sometimes after homework, sports, work and breastfeeding… I just want to sit on my sofa, ignore my messy house, eat some Yogurtland and watch some TV! I grew up watching you on Sister Sister, and this may sound weird, but I have found a friend in you…My Celebrity Friend. Thank you for giving us the real you.
Carolina Lopez
Beautiful words Carolina. thank you!
I had an unexpected c-section after laboring for a while. 6 month later I am struggling emotionally with the loss of what I’d hoped for. I am thrilled and in love with my baby girl. I enjoy breastfeeding, have lost all of my pregnancy weight, and I am so blessed to have my princess. But the grief of my traumatic delivery resonates within me. I am praying that it heals in due time!
So true xx
I had a real struggle with comparing myself to others after my baby was born, I had severe postpartum depression and anxiety. I would constantly compare myself to others, especially on social media. I would also make a conscious effort to make sure I appeared to ‘keep up ‘ with the other mums and not let on that I was struggling. It was exhausting.
As I recovered and gained my own confidence as a mother I soon learnt to let go of these unattainable, and often unrealistic goals. I now work to support other mothers experiencing maternal mental illness and I always try to highlight that what we see on social media isn’t a true reflection of real life. To others my Facebook account showed someone thoroughly enjoying motherhood but in reality I was depressed, unable to leave my home due to anxiety and I very nearly ended my life. How many others were looking at my account thinking ‘I wish I was coping and as happy as her”
We’re all on our own journeys, but all have the same goal; to be the best mother, and best person we can be. Each of us are individual and we should celebrate this, support and encourage each other. Parenting is hard enough without the added stress of appearing perfect xx
Continue being real Tamera, it’s inspiring and so helpful to others xx
Sarah
http://Www.lotuspetalpnd.co.uk
Hi Tamera,
I am a first time mom, my son is 7 months old and it has been a crazy 7 months. I am a military mom with a deployed husband. This was an amazing read because I tend to forget that nothing happens overnight. I wanted my depression to just dissappear same with the weight I had gained. It has taken a lot to get through everything that has happened over the past few months. For all the moms out there you are so much strong than you think. You can do it no matter how bad your day may seem, look into your little ones eyes and i promise you will find the stregth to do it! Thank you so much for this read and everything else you do.
-Marisa