How to Rediscover Yourself

Hey guys! Today I wanted to talk about a topic that I think is on everyone’s mind at some point in their lives. Whether you’re struggling with maintaining a sense of individuality as your family expands or feeling caught in the hustle of a demanding career – it’s easy to look up and wonder if we’ve lost touch with ourselves.

It’s important for me to look inward from time to time for this reason and I’ve talked about how when I take care of myself, I feel better prepared to take care of my family, friends and job. It’s a little tough to know just HOW to rediscover yourself though – it requires a little soul searching. Here’s what has worked for me:

How to Rediscover Yourself - Tamera Mowry

1. Get curious. Think about what really inspires you, or used to. Think of what your biggest passions or hobbies used to be – maybe it’s time to reconnect. It also helps to explore (it’s never too late to find a new hobby!) and become more open to opportunity and adventure.

2. Get reading. Nothing like a good book to help you discover secrets about yourself. Sometimes reading someone else’s story can teach us about ours. Find a few books that sound interesting and dig in – it usually leads to a fresh perspective. Not to mention it can force you to take a little time off when you’re feeling busy. (Stay tuned for an inspiring book post on my site soon!)

3. Get moving. Life involves a lot of sitting and waiting – and not necessarily in a relaxing way. Even truer if you have a sedentary day job. My workout classes have given me life – you never know what you’re capable of until you really push yourself, and this kind of self-care and confidence is important to discovering yourself. Don’t knock it till you try it ;).

4. Get social. I know, it sounds pretty strange that self-discovery would involve other people but here’s the trick – get out of your rut or routine. Have conversations with old friends or even branch out of your circle. I know that for lots of working moms at least, when life gets busy the social life is the first to go. Yet, quality time with other people is essential to channeling the real you. Make sure you carve out a little time for rediscovering the social “you”.

Have you ever felt the need to re-discover yourself?

Xx,
Tamera

Real Talk: How Setting Boundaries Will Improve Your Relationships

Hi guys! Thanks to everyone who has commented or messaged me with topics you’d like to see covered here on my site. They always inspire me and I never forget them! Today I wanted to talk about the importance of setting boundaries – what it means and why it can be necessary for our wellbeing.

Real Talk: The Importance of Setting Boundaries - Tamera Mowry

It’s easy to think about setting boundaries when it comes to people we have a hard time with – like moving on from a painful relationship. But what about boundaries with people who want the best for you, with professionals in the workplace, or even setting boundaries with yourself? This is where it gets tough. Back when I shared my take on how to rise above negativity, I mentioned that sometimes we have to weigh the opinions and advice from people we care about.

If there’s someone in your life that seems to always have an opinion, that’s where setting boundaries comes in. If you’re thinking “this sounds uncomfortable” – you’re totally right. It could require a serious talk or even asking for space, which can be risky. But standing up for yourself doesn’t have to be dramatic or negative – you can say, “thanks for your concern but I need to handle this on my own” or “I could use some alone time right now, but it’s great to know you’re there” – and make just as much of an impact.

Some of you may also have trouble setting boundaries in the workplace. Considering we spend so much time at our jobs, your happiness there is not something to shrug off! It is so important to feel comfortable and secure at work. So if it’s a superior, a difficult co-worker, or any other relationship, make sure you are setting boundaries there too. It could even be something as simple as reminding yourself that you’re doing your best and that’s enough.

Lastly, sometimes we have to set boundaries within ourselves. Yep! All that negative self-talk you’ve been cycling through? Make a commitment to cut down on it (and eventually phase it out). Instead, practice transforming those thoughts into positive affirmations. Slowly, you’ll begin to respect your OWN boundaries too.

The hardest part about setting boundaries with people, no matter who they are, is not feeling confident in our authority to do so. As long as you realize that setting boundaries is necessary for healthy relationships, you will feel better defining and keeping them. And a funny thing will happen – people will start to respect them. And those that don’t? They probably don’t deserve your time or energy.

What does setting boundaries mean for you?

Xx,
Tamera

Ask Tamera: How to Rise Above Negativity Together

Have you guys been tuning into my Facebook chats the last couple months? Since there’s never enough time to answer all the questions, I’ve been saving a few for my Ask Tamera series. Last month I told you all about my favorite hobbies, but this time I wanted to address a more serious question: what to do when you experience lack of support from those you love.

we rise by lifting others - calligraphy by psletteringshop - tameramowry.com

Tiffany says, My fiancé and I are getting married in October. Our families have been less than fully supportive… Sometimes our family drama takes a toll on us and makes it hard to be happy. How can we rise above the negativity and grow stronger together?

First of all, congrats! This is a tough one. No one wants to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. It’s natural to seek the support of your family on matters like relationships and career choices, etc., but the truth is you can’t always see eye to eye with everyone. As much as approval from the people we care about validates our choices and gives us confidence, we have to realize that we’re capable of being strong with or without it!

When it comes to differing opinions, only listen to those you truly respect. If a family member has concerns, try to hear them out. Maybe they want the best for you and have trouble articulating it. But if it’s someone you always butt heads with, you’ll likely disagree again. If it becomes a situation that’s not constructive and just leads to a cycle of hurtful words and emotional experiences – then instead of focusing on that, control what you can, like your relationship.

Not having support often makes your relationship stronger because you have to lean on one another more than the average person. Once you’ve agreed to move on, you and your spouse can work on building a lasting partnership – one based on unconditional support! Experiences like these often tell us what we don’t want in a relationship, and it will be refreshing to nurture the connection you have with someone who hears your story and considers your feelings.

It’s wonderful to have strong relationships with those closest to you, but people – even family – have disagreements, sometimes on important issues. The best way to deal with it is to hear them and respect their opinion, but don’t lose sight of your own values. ALL relationships are give and take, only put your time into the ones that give as much as you do.

Hope this helps anyone going through something similar right now. Stay strong, and don’t forget to lean on your other friends for support too!

Xx,
Tamera

quote illustration: psletteringshop