Real Talk: Take Charge of Your Life

Motivation: Keep Moving Forward

Sometimes one aspect of life feels like it’s spiraling out of control (or worse, multiple aspects). Maybe we don’t feel like we’re on the right track in our long-term goals, or we feel like we’re in a situation with no outlet. Whenever I start to think things aren’t heading in the right direction, I know it’s time to take a step back and regain control. While you can’t change everything in your life, YOU remain in control of your actions, and believe it or not they have a great deal to do with the course your life takes! It all starts with a change in thinking. Taking that first step to owning your life can be scary—from switching jobs to improving a relationship—but it’s crazy how much easier those hard things become when you break them into simple steps, like the ones I’ve outlined below:

Put it on paper.

Write down everything. What’s going wrong? What would your situation look like if it were going right? If you don’t like your job, don’t just focus on what bothers you; instead, envision what the perfect job would entail. It’s also helpful to envision what your ideal space would look like—if your home has become uninspiring or stressful, think of what would make it better—this can be anything from physical to emotional. This helps you get to the root of the problem and makes it easier to locate why you arent at that point in your life. 

Organize those thoughts.

Now that you’ve put your thoughts down, it’s time to turn them into something tangible. A lot of times we’re overwhelmed because we feel like life is all over the place. Understanding all the pieces you uncovered in #1 will help you figure out how to take that control back…whether you realize that there are certain people holding you back, or that an insecurity is getting in your own way, you’ll have a place to start.

Talk to others.

Approach someone who you admire and are inspired by to help you get past that roadblock. It doesn’t have to be family; you can also talk to a therapist or connect with people in an online community. In the end, it’s helpful to get those thoughts that are on paper out into the open so you can find more clarity in theme—especially if it’s something you’ve been nervous to talk about. Having a support system of family and friends has helped me my entire life, so I always try to talk things through when I can. 

Create a plan.

Once you’ve looked at your situation from all angles, you can start taking (baby) steps to get there. Take a look at what’s holding you back, and sketch out paths to get there. You have a dream career—do you need to go back to school for it? If it’s a health goal, what lifestyle changes will you make to reach it? It doesn’t have to be totally detailed, just a basic, realistic look at what you need to do to regain control and ultimately happiness, in that area of your life. 

Check in.

How many of us have goals we’ve totally forgotten about? The most important part of having a plan of action is to actually act upon it! Jot down a few notes about what you want to have changed in 3 or 6 months, and pin it somewhere you’ll remember it. This little trick works wonders!

Remember, YOU are in control! Don’t wait to make a positive change.

Let me know if this plan would help you take charge of your life, or if you have a different methodshare it in the comments!


  • Michelet Cesar

    Hi! I am a man 100percent, :) i have been a faN so as long i can remremember, i am so honored to be the first to leave a comment, i haven’t read it throughout, but i think this gonna help me a lot thanks,hopefully one day we can meet:).

  • Amelia Williams

    I love the advice I am you and Tia’s number one fans (I call y’all my cousins lol) But your web page is awesome! Keep letting God use you hun!

  • Amelia Williams

    This also a plan I could definitely use I’m learn all kinds of goal planning in my psychology class so this really helped me thanks. .

  • Alexandra

    this is something i can use especially since i been going through some stuff with two very good friends of mine thx tamera your awesome been a big fan of you and tia for a long time i always watch sister sister =]

  • leona bundy

    Great site Tamera! This is something i will definitely be using – not just this above but this whole site is fantastic. No more trolling around the internet to find out where your great ideas come from. I love it x Keep it up. Much blessings xxx Leona from Leeds UK

  • Marilyn Clark

    I really love this inspiration message. I’m going to put this into my monthly newsletter at my apartment community and of course reference you….I really love it.

  • TT Talk

    This website is truly INCREDIBLE. So glad you’ve decided to create this! Loving the inspiration posts a lot! :))

  • Jewel Gould

    I love love love this! It’s so important to stay focused and motivated! Prayer is a big one for me as well.

  • Autumn Ferrer

    Thanks Tamera. I love reading your posts you are very inspiring. I am relocating with my family, and its a very big step for us. Organizing my thoughts and steps are very important. I am praying this process will also help me restart my online business once we move. Thank you for all of your advice:)

  • Perfect post for what is going on with me right now. I just made a recent career change and I feel like I need to refocus my thoughts and actions. Thank you for giving me some direction on how to start!

  • Khia Li

    It’s always good to be reminded of these things…thanx for the good article. x

  • Samantha Shields

    Very insightful and helpful to us all!!! Thank you!

  • Quiana

    This was right on time! Thanks a million

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  • Kelly

    I’m late reading this post but this advice couldn’t have come at a better time! I was literally think of writing my obstacles down when I started reading this article.

  • Cheryl

    This would help me so much right about now

  • Bridget

    hi tamera just wanted to let you know that you really inspire me. Its so brave of you to come out and declare to the world that you had the courage to wait for so long to give up your virginity. I love your story and as a young woman who is also waiting, I really feel inspired, may God Bless You xxx

  • Azaria

    I love your website http://www.Tamara Mowry. Com. I love this inspiration message. It’s not so easy to take charge in my life because it’s hard to fine the best job for me. Some jobs companies isn’t hiring for new employment but I take it day by day to fine a job so I can be able to take charge of my life. Do you ever to your fans and be there real friend??

  • Karabo Matjie

    Hi Tamera, oh my gosh I love how technology has made it easy to connect with the people we admire. I’m a huge fan of your work and the person you are. Your advice and ideas have a way of springing up happiness and hope, you’re such a positive vessel. Stay blessed and oh yes #Great tips on this article

  • These are some brilliant tips! I have become the queen of procrastination lately and I realize it but I am never motivated enough to do anything about it, haha! This has sparked some of the motivation I have been needing!
    Take care,
    C |

  • NaturalorNot

    Awesome Tamera feeling motivated… and less stressed out … thanks from your #moletwin

  • Laura Clayderman

    amazing! thanks for sharing <3


  • I love this! I started writing all of my thoughts down, good and bad, and it has helped me in two major ways. I am more organized, go figure ;) and I am a lot happier! Great Post! xx


    first … before wanting to fly is good to see the field where you start … everything is planned on the inside is limited by the outside. the social, group, geographical, etc determines to where it is possible that our internal planning true. everything else out of this is fantasy and new age.

  • I agree with writing things down to gain clarity – writing always helps me clear my head and, as you said, organize my thoughts. :)