The Importance of Date Night

Today I wanted to talk about something that seems simple, but is so important to any relationship – date night! It doesn’t matter if you’re in a new relationship, have been together for years, or are married with little ones – dates are an important part of any romantic relationship. Just like you spend time with your friends, all healthy relationships require quality time spent talking, listening and experiencing life together. It’s easy for dates to become few and far between – you’ll get to it if you have time or money – especially when you and your partner are working demanding jobs or raising a family. But incorporating this into our lives has played a huge part in keeping our relationship strong, and here’s why: 


It breaks up the monotony. You can love your job, family and lifestyle and still get stuck in a rut. That’s totally normal! But a special night spent with your spouse can break things up more than you think. A lot of times we get caught up in our crazy lives and forget that our partners are there to support us through the bigger picture too. Time carved out for a date gives you a chance to talk about things other than your day-to-day.

You get to know each other on a deeper level. If you’re married or in a long term relationship, it’s easy to think that there isn’t more to learn. But having an evening dedicated to good conversation and experiencing something (whether a home cooked meal, weekend trip away, or anything in between!) together allows you to continue growing in your relationship. There’s nothing in life that doesn’t always have something to teach you – and that includes marriage.

Tamera and Adam date nightIt also gives you both a reason to dress up :)

It forces you to relax. If you’re the type of person who’s always on the go, you know what I mean by needing to be forced to relax! By spending time with someone you’re 100% comfortable being yourself around, away from the stressors of daily life if even for an hour or two, you just have a renewed sense of calm. It makes it so much easier to go back and face whatever life throws at you, now that you’ve been reminded about what matters most. If you find that you and your partner are bickering or disagreeing a lot, a date night is probably in order! I guarantee you’ll both unconsciously decide to go easier on each other afterward.

You remember your why. Yep, this statement is true for relationships too. It’s always good to remember why you began this crazy ride together! There’s nothing like those “we’re in this together” moments to remind you and your spouse why you’ve worked so hard on your relationship and why you WANT to continue to do so. Especially if you’ve been having a tough time or are working through something – moments like these will provide clarity in your relationship that you can’t get when just going through the motions.

That’s not to say that all the little moments you and your partner share together aren’t just as important – but a little time to focus on your relationship will only strengthen those experiences.

What’s your favorite date night activity? Would love to get inspired!


  • Daniela

    This is so true!?

  • Tameika Harris

    Hi Tamera, I struggle with getting my husband to out on dates. He’s a homebody and prefers to stay home. How can I get home to go out on a date every now and again?

  • Maria Cruz-Franklin

    Hi Tamera, I have watched you since I was a young girl, I want to ask some advice. I don’t have anyone I can ask it’s me against the world I have my husband and kids. My husband has family but I have only been with my husband two years and we have two babies a girl 16 months and a boy 4 months old I have a transgender son that will be 17 on the 26th of March and he is an amazing young man, I could be more proud. See I have bipolar with schizophrenia he has lived with me the last 4 yrs, and he found himself his father won’t accept him, my husband is amazing with him, I am so grateful for him. I have a hard time growing up and I sometimes fear my son my feel I don’t love him or something I try my best to show my family I love them see I was in the military been deployed lost my best friend and many of my fellow brothers and sisters in arms. I have ptsd on top of everything and it’s sometimes I feel everyone hates me. But anyways sorry for rambling, my husband doesn’t seen to understand I need a date night with him some time alone just him and I no one else no friends no kids just use how can I get him to understand we need this? I feel like we argue all the time and we don’t have any real reason to argue. I am now a stay at home mom I am disabled due to military deployments and my husband is a union carpenter and he is amazing at his job. He wants one day to build us a dream home for our children to grow up in but I can care less about that as long as our child have a roof over them, heat and food and we have each other is all I need. So as you can see I don’t want to loss my husband can you please help me. Thank you and God bless you and your beautiful family.

    • Thembi Maluleke

      Hi Maria.

      I couldn’t help but just reply to your message. Firstly, I wanna applaud you for being so brave about the conditions that you have.
      It’s sad to hear that a person who seems so loving of her husband and kids feels lonely at times, but, you aren’t. I am certain your family loves you and especially your 17 year old son. He needs someone on his side in a world where being different is a sin and it is really special to see the support you’re giving him.
      With regards to you needing time away with your husband; it is something i used to struggle with in my relationship, until I decided to make things happen. I invited him to meet me at the cinema for a movie and since then he looks forward to spending that 1 or 2 hours with just his wife. I believe that sometimes you need to teach men or at least remind them that even after having kids, you guys are still in a relationship that needs maintenance. you don’t necessarily have to take him to the movies.. you could cook his favorite meal for supper, prepare a nice bath, go on a picnic.. anything that will create that special bond between you two. Also, pray. Prayer is everything. I hope this helped and just know that someone from South Africa is praying for you too.

  • Yolanda Adams

    Thanks for sharing Tamara I think what you’re saying about a date night is so true I think it’s a way for couples to stay connected to each other I just celebrated my 10-year anniversary March 10th and it seems to me that when we have these times along it makes me realize how much I really need him or how much I love him and why

  • Yolanda Adams

    Also I love cruising with my husband I love to go cruising because you don’t have to worry about anything you can just relax enjoy and do the duh dun ton lol anytime of the day if you feel like it

  • La Tasha Rivera

    Hi Tamera,
    Wanted to know well what do you do if you just simply can’t afford to go on a real full date or have time? We both work but I work security for retail and he works set hours which doesnt match mine because I work overnight sometimes. Im 30 years old and never really had a real date.
    I also wanted to add your a very humble person and I love seeing the things u do with your husband and kids as a family.