A Letter to My Fans

Over the past couple weeks I’ve received more comments, emails, and messages than ever and I wanted to address a few of you guys because I don’t get the chance to do that very often. If you watch The Real you might’ve seen that recently we all got up close and personal about how guilt can hold us back in our lives, making it hard to make our New Years wishes come true. I mentioned my desire to go a little easier on myself, and talked about how I’ve experienced mom guilt from being a working momma away from my little ones so much. At the time, I knew that of course lots of other working moms could relate, but boy did it finally sink in!

Tamera Mowry Dressing Room on The Real

Photos of my family in my dressing room at The Real.

It’s true that on social media there are plenty of people who aren’t into hearing about motherhood, who don’t relate to raising two young children who are my everything, but what I’ve seen lately is that all of you who DO relate, who felt supported by MY feelings and who in turn supported me, outweigh the naysayers.

Tamera Mowry Dressing Room on The Real

I’ve received a ton of inspiring messages and stories but a few really touched my heart and I wanted to share and just say thanks to them and everyone else who has spread positivity already this year – whether it was to me or just by inspiring a mom friend or anyone who needs it. I hope that everyone who reads this can be inspired by your amazing messages too :)

Lauren B said, Today I watched the clips about guilt on The Real’s YouTube channel. I watched them as I sat in the “Mother’s Lounge” pumping at work. Your words resonated deeply with me. As I watched, I knew my husband was waking up our daughter and getting her ready for the day. I long to be there in the mornings. I feel guilt for leaving her day in and day out to provide for our family. I worry that she’ll love her dad more than me. The feelings you expressed and the words of encouragement that Jeannie, Loni, and Adrienne shared were very beneficial to me today. Especially coming back to work from a wonderful vacation. I needed that extra boost to help me carry on. 

Phebby Z said, I remember as a child missing my mother but looking forward to her coming home and sharing with us all her experiences. She has a huge sense of humor and the moment she got home, it was like she never even left. Because, she would just shower us with love and play catch up on whatever was going on in our lives individually. In my eyes my mother is the best mother ever! We’ve all grown up to be strong women and men and nobody has any issues as a result. All of us kids agree that between mother and daddy, we got the best parents ever! …From one woman to another, those little blessings you have are always looking forward to your coming home and telling them all about your day. Don’t think you have to make up for lost time without them! Just be there when the time allows according to your schedule and play and lather them with as much LOVE as you can.

Juliette said, As mothers we always want to do more and be the best we can be and not everyone is going to agree with how we raise our children, but then not everyone will understand the things we give up to make sure our families want and need for nothing. Even if it means missing out on a few things here and there… Be proud of the mom you’ve become because trust me it’s so worth it in the long run when they turn to you and say, thank you mom… Continue to be who you are never let the negativity disrupt that.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who chooses to lift other women up instead of tearing them down. You inspire me.

Xx,
Tamera

How to Keep Your New Years Resolutions

If you read my post on simplifying your life, you know what I have on my agenda for the new year. Whether you have a list of actual resolutions, are choosing a word of the year, or are just vowing to set a daily intention – the point of it all is to accomplish goals and make changes, right? You definitely don’t want to do all that work just to forget about it a week later. Been there, done that. Try these quick tips for keeping those resolutions in check:

How to Keep Your New Years Resolutions - Tamera Mowry

Be specific. When making a resolution or goal, be specific. Don’t just say “get healthy” and expect the you from a week or months from now to know exactly what that means. You want to make goals that guide your decisions throughout the year, and vague ones are easy to lose sight of. Don’t set a goal you can easily talk your way out of!

Take baby steps. Just because a resolution has an end goal doesn’t mean you’ll get there on the first try. In fact, most resolutions aren’t that simple! Break those big goals down into things you can do throughout the entire year, and you’ll be working toward it each week or month.

Don’t forget them! Easier said than done, I know. The ‘out of sight, out of mind’ adage is real, guys. In my opinion, the biggest reason people don’t keep resolutions is that they simply forget they made them! Keep your resolutions on display 365 days of the year. Even if in 6 months from now you pivot from those original goals to something else, you’ll remember where you started. But if you keep them stashed away, you won’t even remember you wrote them.

Create a visual. Creating a visual representation of your resolutions can be helpful for those who struggle to maintain a mental image of their goals. A vision or inspiration board with photos and cut-outs of where you hope to be can be super motivating – I did this when I started my mommy makeover journey – it helped me illustrate some of the goals I’d been keeping in my head and was a huge motivator.

Keep some to yourself. By now you may have noticed a few studies showing that shouting your goals from the rooftops might actually make you less likely to achieve them. It’s because talking about goals often gives people a false sense of accomplishment – they share it with their friends and move on. Sound familiar? There’s nothing wrong with confiding in people, especially those that will keep you in check, but don’t let that trick you into thinking you’ve conquered a goal you haven’t!

Tell me – which resolutions in the past have you actually KEPT? Share your tips for sticking with it below!

Xx,
Tamera

My New Years Refresh Giveaway!

Hey guys! Hopefully you’ve all been able to start this month off on a high note. Still, sometimes we all need a little motivation to take control of our lives. And what’s more motivating than new goodies to take notes, make plans and organize your day with? That’s why I thought it would be fun to start the new year off with a giveaway dedicated to getting inspired and feeling refreshed for the months ahead.

day-designergiveaway

Ready for the giveaway? One lucky TameraMowry.com reader will win a prize pack filled with everything below:

1. This January 2017 Flagship Day Designer in Sweet Geo. If you haven’t heard of Day Designer, it’s so much more than a planner. You can read all about how it can inspire you to achieve your goals all year here.
2. 1 Voluspa Mini Tin Candle in ‘Branche Vermeil’
3. 1 Mini kate spade new york notepad in Gold Dots
4. 1 ban.do clutch in Rose Gold
5. Set of rose gold binder clips
6. 1 cute mini pen

 

*Update*

Congrats to our winner, Melissa C. She has already been contacted and the prize will be out shortly :) Thanks to everyone who entered!

How to Simplify Your Life

With the New Year coming, lots of us have resolutions on the mind. But lately I’ve been thinking of something totally opposite: the idea of simplifying. Think about it, could narrowing your focus to what’s really important, rather than adding more to the equation, make you happier or more fulfilled? Life gets SO busy, and when there’s a ton going on, you might not even notice all the things pulling you in different directions. At the end of the year, I like to check on whether I truly need each “thing” in my life. Anything that isn’t contributing to the wellbeing of my family and I, needs to be reconsidered.

Here are a few things you might try to simplify in order to start the year off right:

How to Simplify Your Life - Tamera Mowry

How to Simplify Your Life

Clear the physical clutter. Physical clutter is a great way to start because it’s easy to see and the results are instant. Once your house, your office, your purse even are free of things you don’t need, believe me, you will let out a long sigh of relief! Physical clutter may be weighing you down and you don’t even know it.

Clear the mental clutter. List-making to the rescue! Write a list of everything weighing on your mind in this moment. You’ll be surprised at how far you can get without even looking up. Each day, cross off a few of the small things on your mind (whether that means actual tasks or working through bigger picture struggles), and work your way down.

Check expectations. Whose expectations are taking up the most room in your life right now? It doesn’t matter if you’ve put them on yourself or someone has piled them on you. Try to find ways you can keep those expectations in check – whether asking for help or forcing yourself to create more manageable goals. Cutting out unrealistic expectations will simplify your life and help de-stress.

Check your down time. How do you spend your down time? Is it actually relaxing or fulfilling? Every momma knows how important a little me-time is, but it’s not helpful if those moments aren’t spent in ways that actually put you at ease. Next time you have downtime, do something you truly want to do, rather than just vegging out or scrolling through social media.

Now that you’ve organized some of the moving parts, you’ll probably want to move onto the big picture. Is there something major that needs to take less of your attention in the new year? Now’s a great time to think of how to go about that – tough as it is. It can be done!

Now tell me, what’s one part of your life you want to simplify in the New Year? For more tips, read my post on how to save time in your day.
Xx,
Tamera

Real Talk: How Setting Boundaries Will Improve Your Relationships

Hi guys! Thanks to everyone who has commented or messaged me with topics you’d like to see covered here on my site. They always inspire me and I never forget them! Today I wanted to talk about the importance of setting boundaries – what it means and why it can be necessary for our wellbeing.

Real Talk: The Importance of Setting Boundaries - Tamera Mowry

It’s easy to think about setting boundaries when it comes to people we have a hard time with – like moving on from a painful relationship. But what about boundaries with people who want the best for you, with professionals in the workplace, or even setting boundaries with yourself? This is where it gets tough. Back when I shared my take on how to rise above negativity, I mentioned that sometimes we have to weigh the opinions and advice from people we care about.

If there’s someone in your life that seems to always have an opinion, that’s where setting boundaries comes in. If you’re thinking “this sounds uncomfortable” – you’re totally right. It could require a serious talk or even asking for space, which can be risky. But standing up for yourself doesn’t have to be dramatic or negative – you can say, “thanks for your concern but I need to handle this on my own” or “I could use some alone time right now, but it’s great to know you’re there” – and make just as much of an impact.

Some of you may also have trouble setting boundaries in the workplace. Considering we spend so much time at our jobs, your happiness there is not something to shrug off! It is so important to feel comfortable and secure at work. So if it’s a superior, a difficult co-worker, or any other relationship, make sure you are setting boundaries there too. It could even be something as simple as reminding yourself that you’re doing your best and that’s enough.

Lastly, sometimes we have to set boundaries within ourselves. Yep! All that negative self-talk you’ve been cycling through? Make a commitment to cut down on it (and eventually phase it out). Instead, practice transforming those thoughts into positive affirmations. Slowly, you’ll begin to respect your OWN boundaries too.

The hardest part about setting boundaries with people, no matter who they are, is not feeling confident in our authority to do so. As long as you realize that setting boundaries is necessary for healthy relationships, you will feel better defining and keeping them. And a funny thing will happen – people will start to respect them. And those that don’t? They probably don’t deserve your time or energy.

What does setting boundaries mean for you?

Xx,
Tamera

5 Ways to be a Better Hostess this Holiday Season

Are you guys feeling ready for Thanksgiving? Holidays stir up a lot this time of year – we’re excited to be in the company of those we love, many of which we don’t see as often as we wish we would. If you’re hosting, you’re also likely heading up a gathering for people of all ages, making it tough to cater to everyone’s needs – literally. Even the most casual gatherings come with at least some pressure, so I really wanted to tackle ways to truly make the most of the holidays we wait all year to enjoy – both for your guests AND you:

5 Ways to be a Better Hostess this Holiday Season - Hostess Tips from Tamera Mowry

5 Ways to Be a Better Hostess

1. Learn from years past. Even if you didn’t host the last holiday gathering, you can think back and consider what stood out to you. What were the highlights? The near-disasters? Use those as a basis for planning your own party, before you dive in.

2. Don’t overexert yourself. Ask for help if you need it. I know some people really struggle with this – it’s so easy to think because you CAN do it all you should. In reality, people are often ready and willing to help – sometimes they just don’t think of it at first.

3. Keep expectations in check. Going off of that last point, it’s important to know what you’re getting into. Remember, you probably know at least most of your guests pretty closely, right? …Don’t get too caught up in the planning that you forget what type of get together THEY like to attend. Keep it realistic!

4. Try something new. That said, the holidays only come around once a year. If you’ve been eyeing a tutorial like my DIY place settings or a recipe I’ve shared, now is the time to go for it! Do a trial run before the big day to work out kinks and get confident.

5. Keep it in perspective. Remember, when people look back on this event, they’re going to think mostly about the awesome day they spent with you – even if dessert took too long or one of the side dishes looked a little sloppy. Don’t beat yourself up if things don’t go according to your vision – different can be good too.

This time of year is so action-packed, and it’s all about to get crazier! But all this entertaining is truly all about love and comfort and warmth – don’t let anything get in the way of that.

What’s your favorite part of holiday gatherings? Any tips for avoiding stress?

Xx,
Tamera