Real Talk: Enjoying the Journey

Happy Monday! Are you ready for the next Real Talk topic of 2017? (If you’ve missed some of my past posts, you can find them all here.) You may have heard me say the phrase “enjoy the journey” before when talking about New Years resolutions. But this isn’t just some goal that will fade, I’ve come to think of it as a lifestyle. Yes, the term enjoy the journey is a nice piece of inspiration, but you’re probably wondering what it means to actually live it.

Enjoying the Journey - Tamera Mowry

The biggest question isn’t how to enjoy your journey (whatever that may be) when life is GOOD but when times are tough. Can you really enjoy difficult parts of life too? Let me tell you, no one’s life is all rainbows and butterflies; no one finds success without failure, love without heartache. But enjoying the journey IS possible – it’s all about maintaining that attitude of gratitude, and focusing on what is going right.

The trick is not to try to pretend that there aren’t hurdles or obstacles. We all have them and they can teach us a lot about us and our convictions. Enjoying the journey isn’t about ignoring our struggle, it’s about embracing them as part of who you are. If you can start to respect those hard times and realize that you’ve learned and grown as a person because of the bumps along the road, you’ll look at life from a more compassionate place.. One that is not only less harsh on others, but kinder to yourself too.

Once you make peace with the fact that struggles are part of the journey, you let go of the impossible expectations that seem to always lead to disappointment (you know the ones). You learn to be content with every part of the road because it led you to this moment. Thinking of life in this way always lifts me up when I’m down, and I hope it does for you too! It’s so empowering to know that no matter what, there’s something to take from each experience we have.

“Don’t wait for everything to be perfect before you decide to enjoy your life.” – Joyce Meyer

What does enjoying the journey mean to you?

Xx,
Tamera

Real Talk: Dealing with Self-Doubt

Hi everyone! Did you catch my last Real Talk post on setting boundaries? Sometimes you need boundaries with other people to improve your relationships, but other times the one person getting in your way is – you guessed it – you.  How many times a day do you catch yourself saying or thinking, “I can’t”? A lot of us don’t even notice how much we do it.

Real Talk: Dealing with Self-Doubt - Tamera Mowry

Growing up, we have parents and teachers to tell us what we can and can’t do. But who’s telling you that now? While there’s so much more we CAN do, it’s easy to tell ourselves no, especially when the going gets tough. In the past few years – especially since becoming a momma – I’ve found myself capable of doing more than I ever thought possible. Yet, I still catch myself wrapped up in negative self-talk from time to time, who doesn’t?

The funny thing is, we can be so sweet about it. We politely tell ourselves, “oh, I couldn’t do that”. Putting ourselves down in this way can be so subtle we don’t even notice it – yet its effects are enormous. It’s a way of telling ourselves we can’t be trusted, that we can’t handle the things we were put on earth to experience, that we’re silly for evening considering it. While it might a well-meaning voice designed to protect ourselves from harm, when listened to frequently, it keeps us from living life to the fullest.

So, how to combat this negative self-talk? My solution is to come up with a response. Sometimes it helps to determine whether or not these doubts are reasonable. Next time you catch yourself thinking or saying “I can’t” – answer it back. Ask why not. Find out why you think you can’t. Think long and hard about the why; sometimes this is coming from a place of fear or doubt. If there’s no good reason for something, you’ve got one more step – turn that negative into a positive. Tell yourself you can.

Do you struggle with self-doubt? We’re all capable of amazing things, sometimes we just need to hear that voice out – and go for it anyway.

Xx,
Tamera

A Letter to My Fans

Over the past couple weeks I’ve received more comments, emails, and messages than ever and I wanted to address a few of you guys because I don’t get the chance to do that very often. If you watch The Real you might’ve seen that recently we all got up close and personal about how guilt can hold us back in our lives, making it hard to make our New Years wishes come true. I mentioned my desire to go a little easier on myself, and talked about how I’ve experienced mom guilt from being a working momma away from my little ones so much. At the time, I knew that of course lots of other working moms could relate, but boy did it finally sink in!

Tamera Mowry Dressing Room on The Real

Photos of my family in my dressing room at The Real.

It’s true that on social media there are plenty of people who aren’t into hearing about motherhood, who don’t relate to raising two young children who are my everything, but what I’ve seen lately is that all of you who DO relate, who felt supported by MY feelings and who in turn supported me, outweigh the naysayers.

Tamera Mowry Dressing Room on The Real

I’ve received a ton of inspiring messages and stories but a few really touched my heart and I wanted to share and just say thanks to them and everyone else who has spread positivity already this year – whether it was to me or just by inspiring a mom friend or anyone who needs it. I hope that everyone who reads this can be inspired by your amazing messages too :)

Lauren B said, Today I watched the clips about guilt on The Real’s YouTube channel. I watched them as I sat in the “Mother’s Lounge” pumping at work. Your words resonated deeply with me. As I watched, I knew my husband was waking up our daughter and getting her ready for the day. I long to be there in the mornings. I feel guilt for leaving her day in and day out to provide for our family. I worry that she’ll love her dad more than me. The feelings you expressed and the words of encouragement that Jeannie, Loni, and Adrienne shared were very beneficial to me today. Especially coming back to work from a wonderful vacation. I needed that extra boost to help me carry on. 

Phebby Z said, I remember as a child missing my mother but looking forward to her coming home and sharing with us all her experiences. She has a huge sense of humor and the moment she got home, it was like she never even left. Because, she would just shower us with love and play catch up on whatever was going on in our lives individually. In my eyes my mother is the best mother ever! We’ve all grown up to be strong women and men and nobody has any issues as a result. All of us kids agree that between mother and daddy, we got the best parents ever! …From one woman to another, those little blessings you have are always looking forward to your coming home and telling them all about your day. Don’t think you have to make up for lost time without them! Just be there when the time allows according to your schedule and play and lather them with as much LOVE as you can.

Juliette said, As mothers we always want to do more and be the best we can be and not everyone is going to agree with how we raise our children, but then not everyone will understand the things we give up to make sure our families want and need for nothing. Even if it means missing out on a few things here and there… Be proud of the mom you’ve become because trust me it’s so worth it in the long run when they turn to you and say, thank you mom… Continue to be who you are never let the negativity disrupt that.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who chooses to lift other women up instead of tearing them down. You inspire me.

Xx,
Tamera

How to Keep Your New Years Resolutions

If you read my post on simplifying your life, you know what I have on my agenda for the new year. Whether you have a list of actual resolutions, are choosing a word of the year, or are just vowing to set a daily intention – the point of it all is to accomplish goals and make changes, right? You definitely don’t want to do all that work just to forget about it a week later. Been there, done that. Try these quick tips for keeping those resolutions in check:

How to Keep Your New Years Resolutions - Tamera Mowry

Be specific. When making a resolution or goal, be specific. Don’t just say “get healthy” and expect the you from a week or months from now to know exactly what that means. You want to make goals that guide your decisions throughout the year, and vague ones are easy to lose sight of. Don’t set a goal you can easily talk your way out of!

Take baby steps. Just because a resolution has an end goal doesn’t mean you’ll get there on the first try. In fact, most resolutions aren’t that simple! Break those big goals down into things you can do throughout the entire year, and you’ll be working toward it each week or month.

Don’t forget them! Easier said than done, I know. The ‘out of sight, out of mind’ adage is real, guys. In my opinion, the biggest reason people don’t keep resolutions is that they simply forget they made them! Keep your resolutions on display 365 days of the year. Even if in 6 months from now you pivot from those original goals to something else, you’ll remember where you started. But if you keep them stashed away, you won’t even remember you wrote them.

Create a visual. Creating a visual representation of your resolutions can be helpful for those who struggle to maintain a mental image of their goals. A vision or inspiration board with photos and cut-outs of where you hope to be can be super motivating – I did this when I started my mommy makeover journey – it helped me illustrate some of the goals I’d been keeping in my head and was a huge motivator.

Keep some to yourself. By now you may have noticed a few studies showing that shouting your goals from the rooftops might actually make you less likely to achieve them. It’s because talking about goals often gives people a false sense of accomplishment – they share it with their friends and move on. Sound familiar? There’s nothing wrong with confiding in people, especially those that will keep you in check, but don’t let that trick you into thinking you’ve conquered a goal you haven’t!

Tell me – which resolutions in the past have you actually KEPT? Share your tips for sticking with it below!

Xx,
Tamera

My New Years Refresh Giveaway!

Hey guys! Hopefully you’ve all been able to start this month off on a high note. Still, sometimes we all need a little motivation to take control of our lives. And what’s more motivating than new goodies to take notes, make plans and organize your day with? That’s why I thought it would be fun to start the new year off with a giveaway dedicated to getting inspired and feeling refreshed for the months ahead.

day-designergiveaway

Ready for the giveaway? One lucky TameraMowry.com reader will win a prize pack filled with everything below:

1. This January 2017 Flagship Day Designer in Sweet Geo. If you haven’t heard of Day Designer, it’s so much more than a planner. You can read all about how it can inspire you to achieve your goals all year here.
2. 1 Voluspa Mini Tin Candle in ‘Branche Vermeil’
3. 1 Mini kate spade new york notepad in Gold Dots
4. 1 ban.do clutch in Rose Gold
5. Set of rose gold binder clips
6. 1 cute mini pen

 

*Update*

Congrats to our winner, Melissa C. She has already been contacted and the prize will be out shortly :) Thanks to everyone who entered!

How to Simplify Your Life

With the New Year coming, lots of us have resolutions on the mind. But lately I’ve been thinking of something totally opposite: the idea of simplifying. Think about it, could narrowing your focus to what’s really important, rather than adding more to the equation, make you happier or more fulfilled? Life gets SO busy, and when there’s a ton going on, you might not even notice all the things pulling you in different directions. At the end of the year, I like to check on whether I truly need each “thing” in my life. Anything that isn’t contributing to the wellbeing of my family and I, needs to be reconsidered.

Here are a few things you might try to simplify in order to start the year off right:

How to Simplify Your Life - Tamera Mowry

How to Simplify Your Life

Clear the physical clutter. Physical clutter is a great way to start because it’s easy to see and the results are instant. Once your house, your office, your purse even are free of things you don’t need, believe me, you will let out a long sigh of relief! Physical clutter may be weighing you down and you don’t even know it.

Clear the mental clutter. List-making to the rescue! Write a list of everything weighing on your mind in this moment. You’ll be surprised at how far you can get without even looking up. Each day, cross off a few of the small things on your mind (whether that means actual tasks or working through bigger picture struggles), and work your way down.

Check expectations. Whose expectations are taking up the most room in your life right now? It doesn’t matter if you’ve put them on yourself or someone has piled them on you. Try to find ways you can keep those expectations in check – whether asking for help or forcing yourself to create more manageable goals. Cutting out unrealistic expectations will simplify your life and help de-stress.

Check your down time. How do you spend your down time? Is it actually relaxing or fulfilling? Every momma knows how important a little me-time is, but it’s not helpful if those moments aren’t spent in ways that actually put you at ease. Next time you have downtime, do something you truly want to do, rather than just vegging out or scrolling through social media.

Now that you’ve organized some of the moving parts, you’ll probably want to move onto the big picture. Is there something major that needs to take less of your attention in the new year? Now’s a great time to think of how to go about that – tough as it is. It can be done!

Now tell me, what’s one part of your life you want to simplify in the New Year? For more tips, read my post on how to save time in your day.
Xx,
Tamera